253 Wondering How to Drink Less Alcohol? The Hidden Truth Behind Excuses That Keep You Drinking

Episode 253: Wondering How to Drink Less Alcohol?
The Hidden Truth Behind Excuses That Keep You Drinking

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"Maybe you’re not stuck. Your brain has just learned to protect your drinking with excuses.”

If you keep telling yourself you’re going to “cut back,” drink less, or stop pouring that next glass… yet somehow end up in the same cycle, this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, I break down the real reason it’s so hard to change your drinking, the hidden excuses and internal stories that subtly keep you stuck. Whether you're trying to figure out how to stop drinking wine, struggling with alcohol and stress, or wondering why the desire to change isn’t matching your follow-through, this episode brings clarity and compassion to the process.

These excuses aren’t about weakness. They’re protective patterns your brain uses to avoid discomfort, and once you understand them, everything begins to shift.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The six most common excuses keeping women stuck in the drink-less cycle
•  Why rationalizing your drinking feels so convincing in the moment
•  How emotional bargaining (like “I deserve it”) sneaks in
•  Why waiting for life to “calm down” doesn’t work
• How these patterns block real progress and peace
• Why sobriety coaching helps you break the pattern and move forward
• What to do when you’re ready to make a change but feel terrified to start
• Tools for early mindset shifts and how to relax without alcohol

If you’re sober curious, frustrated with yourself, or tired of making promises you can’t seem to keep, this episode will help you understand why and what to do next.

Skip the reading & watch the YouTube video instead:

For many women, drinking isn’t just a habit, it’s a coping strategy wrapped in logic that sounds reasonable on the surface.
But underneath the surface-level explanations is something deeper: a cycle of rationalizations that keep you stuck, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your own peace.

This blog post breaks down the real reasons these excuses show up, why they’re so convincing, and how you can finally break free from them.
Because clarity, not perfection, is what creates lasting change.

Excuse #1 — “I Don’t Drink That Much.”

On paper, this sounds innocent. You’re not drinking daily. You’re not blacking out. You’re not the “worst one you know.”

But this excuse works because it focuses on amount, not impact.

Why This Excuse Feels True

• You compare your drinking to others who drink more.
  
• You justify how little you drink, instead of how often you think about drinking.
  
• You minimize the emotional or physical aftermath because “it could be worse.”
  
  

Why It Keeps You Stuck

Alcohol affects your life long before the amount becomes “concerning.”
If drinking is:

• Taking up mental space
  
• Affecting your relationships
  
• Triggering guilt or shame
  
• Disrupting your sleep
  
• Making you feel disconnected from your body
  

…then it’s impacting your life, regardless of how many drinks you have.

Ask Yourself Instead

• How much headspace does alcohol take up?
  
• Do I like who I am when I drink?
  
• Do I trust myself around alcohol?
  

When you focus on impact over quantity, the picture becomes much clearer.

Excuse #2 — “I’ll Quit When Life Calms Down.”

If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time to quit, you already know the truth: that time never comes.

The Myth of the ‘Perfect Time’

Life doesn’t magically slow down.
It cycles through:

• deadlines
  
• holidays
  
• carpool seasons
  
• stress
  
• family obligations
  

There’s always something that makes drinking feel justified.

Why Delaying Creates More Chaos

The irony is that sobriety isn’t something you do after life calms down, it’s the thing that helps life calm down.

Drinking disrupts your nervous system, fragments your emotional regulation, and makes everyday stress harder to handle.

A Reality Check

Look back at the last year:

• How many times did you say you’d cut back “next month”?
  
• How often did stress simply… continue?
  

Sobriety supports your wellbeing through chaos, it doesn’t require the chaos to disappear first.

Excuse #3 — “Everyone I Know Drinks.”

This is one of the strongest psychological traps: the belief that drinking is normal simply because it’s common.

The Environment Problem

Most social environments revolve around alcohol:

• dinners
  
• girls’ nights
  
• holidays
  
• celebrations
  

When everyone around you drinks, it creates a false sense of safety, even if drinking is harming your peace.

Why This Excuse Holds You Back

This belief keeps you tied to unhealthy patterns because:

• It prevents self-reflection
  
• It normalizes emotional escape
  
• It stops you from imagining a life where drinking isn’t the default
  
  

What Changes When You Quit

When you remove alcohol, you automatically create space for new connections, new routines, and new support systems.
You don’t need to fit your environment, you’re allowed to redefine it.

Excuse #4 — “I Deserve It.”

This one is powerful because it’s rooted in self-soothing and burnout.
After a long day, reaching for a drink feels like self-care — but it’s not.

The Emotional Bargain

Drinking becomes your “reward” for:

• stress
  
• overwhelm
  
• parenting
  
• work pressure
  
• emotional exhaustion
  

But this reward system isn’t actually nurturing you, it’s just numbing you.

Why This Keeps You Dependent

Alcohol provides temporary relief while creating long-term discomfort:

• Anxiety spikes
  
• Sleep quality drops
  
• Emotional resilience weakens
  
• Your stress threshold shrinks
  

What feels like self-love in the moment becomes self-sabotage in the long run.

The Better Truth

You deserve comfort.
You deserve regulation.
You deserve internal peace, not something that steals your peace later.

Excuse #5 — “At Least I’m Not That Bad.”

This is the classic comparison trap, measuring your drinking against extreme stories instead of your own lived experience.

The Trap It Creates

By comparing yourself to someone who has hit “rock bottom,” you convince yourself you’re fine.

This protects your ego but damages your self-trust.

The Real Questions

• Is alcohol disrupting your peace?
  
• Do you hide habits or justify decisions?
  
• Do you feel guilty or anxious after drinking?
  
• Is drinking pulling you away from the life you want?
  

Severity doesn’t determine whether alcohol is a problem. Your quality of life does.

Why This Excuse Is Dangerous

Emotional dependency forms long before outward consequences appear.
If your intuition is whispering that something is off, it’s worth listening.

How To Start Seeing Through These Excuses

Awareness is the beginning of change.
Start with:

• Radical honesty
  
• Recognizing that your brain is protecting a habit
  
• Detaching identity from behavior
  
• Challenging the stories you’ve repeated for years
  

You’re not flawed, you’re conditioned.
And conditioning can be rewritten.

When You’re Ready for Support

If you’re reading this, you’re already in the early stages of change.
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You don’t need a rock-bottom moment.
You don’t need permission.

If you’re craving:

• clarity
  
• accountability
  
• emotional steadiness
  
• a plan that actually works
  
• a life that feels like freedom
  

Courtney’s 1:1 coaching helps you break the cycle with compassion, structure, and science-backed tools.

You can book a clarity call to understand:

• what’s keeping you stuck
  
• why your past attempts didn’t last
  
• what support would look like for your life
  

Your future doesn’t have to look like your past.
And you don’t have to walk into that future alone.

Final Thoughts

You’re not weak for struggling.
You’re not “bad” for using alcohol to cope.
You’re not behind.

You’re waking up.
You’re noticing patterns.
You’re ready for more peace, and less pressure.

And that is the beginning of real transformation.

Thank you for listening!

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