Tips for Quitting Drinking When Your Partner Still Drinks Alcohol.

Jul 03, 2021

How to Quit Drinking When Your Partner Isn't Sober.


Deciding that you’re ready to give up alcohol is a brave choice!

I’m willing to bet that you’re tired of low-energy or drunk arguments. If you’re not careful, alcohol can put a huuuuge strain on any relationship. 

When people say drinking alcohol is like pouring gasoline on your anxiety, this also goes for relationships. When drinking, it's easier to say things you don't mean or be hurtful to others, making alcohol a "not so great" tool for couples. 

Today, we're talking about sticking to your *sober* guns.

Even though you’re in a relationship, you’re still an individual.

You’ve got to do what’s right for you, your body, and your mind. 

Speak Up!

Use your voice in your relationship to communicate why your life is better without alcohol. It's not your responsibility to make sure your partner "understands," because it's your choice, at the end of the day. But it can be helpful to walk your partner through your decision-making and tell them about the benefits of quitting drinking.

Here are a few things you’ll want to touch on in your conversation:

  • How alcohol makes you feel.
  • Why you'll benefit from quitting drinking.
  • Ask for the support that you’ll need.

When you sit down to explain your decision, be as open and honest as possible. If your partner is supportive, they will absolutely understand!

Set Clear Boundaries. 

During your conversation, it’s crucial to speak up for yourself. Often, people make the mistake of saying, “we don’t have to change our ways; I just won’t drink.” 

The problem with that is - drinking is a lifestyle and a working system. 

When your life revolves around alcohol, that impacts every part of your day-to-day life.

Be willing to accept that you'll have to make changes (and that's okay)! 

Setting boundaries will help guide you and your partner through this transition. 

You might decide that you no longer want alcohol in the house or ask your partner not to drink around you. Just be clear about what you need!

Here are a few steps for setting boundaries:

  1. Envision the outcome you’re looking for (happier home life).
  2. Decide what will help you get there (no alcohol in the home).
  3. Set a firm boundary and stick to it (get rid of the alcohol in the home, don’t buy more).

Follow Through with Check-Ins. 

Over time, your needs will fluctuate and change. Your confidence in recovery will grow, and your boundaries might need an adjustment

After a few months of sticking to your set boundaries, sit down with your partner to see how things are going.

Chat about what’s working and what’s not. 

It’s normal to readjust along the way! 

Connect with the Sober Community.

Even though you might consider your partner your support system, it helps to talk to people who are also in your shoes. 

Your partner might not fully understand everything you’re going through. There's a whole community out there who does understand.

Consider supplementing the support you’re getting at home by connecting with other people in recovery. 

Work With Me!

If you need a little extra support, join my group program. We have weekly meetings that help you stay accountable, along with monthly workshops. 

We’ve got your back. 💗

Or listen to the Sober Vibes Podcast for weekly advice! 

I want you to feel sober NOT boring!

Kickstart your sobriety with my free 2-day video workshop series to master your sober mindset and have FUN in your sobriety journey!